Tyler "Teslabeats" "cardcentric" Negrin

THE STORY BEHIND THE LEGEND

Tyler Negrin has lived a life like none other, yet his incredible life story remains untold. We at [REDACTED] USA are proud to debut the true, yet unbelievable tale of this modern day messiah.

Early Life

Tyler Negrin was born sometime in the latter half of the 20th century to a black single mother. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism at an early age and had difficulty fiting in with his peers. Growing up in the ghettos of Chicago, Tyler had to learn how to survive from a young age. This came easy for him as his intelligence was fit to handle any obstacle. As a baby, he learned to cry for attention to get food or mama's milk, even when not hungry. He could talk two months after birth but chose to keep quiet to avoid undergoing government testing of supergenius babies. At six months he had the reading level of a high schooler and at 12 months could walk, run, and was skilled in gymnastics where he often competed under a false identity as a dwarf. He won every competition.

Crime

When Tyler was two years old, his single black mother fell under severe financial problems and began prostituting herself to locals. Tyler would see a variety of shady characters come and go from his house including gangbangers, drug dealers, and local politicians. Tyler reported that during this time, his mother would cry herself to sleep everynight and curse his absentee father. Not being able to tolerate seeing his mother in such turmoil, Tyler began a life of crime in the hopes of lifting is mother from the economic burden she was facing. Tyler started with small crimes, like petty shoplifting, robbing old people, and selling counterfeit baseball cards. This, however, was not sustainable, so Tyler crafted the genius plan of luring members of the ruling class and billionaires with offers of sex and then blackmailing them for money and political control. Since Tyler was only two years old at the time, his toddler body was the perfect bait for these types and he found extreme success in this practice. He claims he had a ring of at least 50 men beneath him and controlled at least 20 of America's top influencial figures. All of this success did not help his mother as she was still a hooker and was helplessly addicted to many vices such as alcohol, heroin, meth, fentanyl, RuneScape, and blood thinners. All of Tylers funds had been stolen from him to fund these habits. Tyler was feeling like all of his hard work was for nothing.

Recovery

At the age of 3, Tyler had an encounter with pre-Presidency Barack H Obama. After rejecting Tyler's mother after learning she was not a transexual, Barack said to the three year old "Uhhhhh... you- can make a difference. Change the world. Obama out". Tyler has since quoted this encounter to be the moment his life changed. He decided to cut ties with his crime ring, handing it over to Jeffrey Epstein, and head down a clean path. He enrolled at Yale and graduated two years later with a degree in Software Engineering. He designed many complex machines and sold the patents to major companies to produce. He eventually made friends with Mark Zuckerburg where them and those two twins made FaceBook. Mark later denied Tyler's involvement in the project, which was easy to believe as Tyler was only 7 at the time.

Time in New York

Upset by his betrayal, Tyler became bitter. He separated himself from Zuckerburg and moved to New York City where he got a job at the World Trade Center doing advanced database programming. On the morning of September 11th, 2001 Tyler was late for work after helping a neighbor spontaneously deliver a baby. On his bike ride to work (Tyler was not of legal age to have a drivers license but he claims he was fully capable of driving all types of automobiles) he witnessed the first plane crash into the tower. Remembering Obama's words, he ran into the flaming building. He rescued over 50 people that morning.

Motivated by the attacks on our country, Tyler joined the NSA's counterterrorist division and gathered intel on foreign involvment in 9/11. While his contributions are classified, he claims to have played a big role in the capture of Osama bin Laden and claims multiple Hollywood movies were based on his activites. It was during his time in he NSA that he entered a relationship with a coworker. Many saw this as predatory since Tyler was only 9 years old when they started dating, but Tyler claims everything was consensual. Their relationship lasted for two years before Tyler ended it. He claimed that the age gap made the relationship more difficult as they planned a future together. Dating was difficult for Tyler after this as kids his age were far too immature for his liking and older women were simply incompatible with Tyler's life goals. These struggles sent Tyler into a depression that severly impacted his personal and business life. He would leave the NSA in early 2004 at the age of 10.

Isolation

Tyler spent a period of 9-10 years in the Alaskan wilderness after buying 200 acres of land and building a log cabin. He lived off the land, hunting, fishing, and growing his food, while maintaining his property and enjoying simple hobbies. He claims he spent his free time reading books on esoteric philosophy and spirituality, learning to speak to plants and animals, and mastering the art of longbow combat. Many speculate he reached enlightenment during this time.

Today

The current whereabouts of Tyler are unknown. There are many speculations as to what he is up to, including leading underground religious cults, puppeting major governments, managing restaurants, and making large donations to orphanages anonymously.